The last blog I posted was entitled Dickmatized. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you do. Therefore, you can fully understand some of the things that will be stated in this blog. I described the 3 elements that will determine whether a person is dickmatized over their spouse. Before I utilize the 3 elements to determine if Cardi B is dickmatized over Offset, I will give some pretext to the situation.
Cardi B, who's real name is Belcalis Almanzar, is a newly famed rapper in the hip-hop industry. She debuted in the reality show Love and Hip-hop New york. Since her appearance on the show she has gained millions of fans and became a household name. I can admit that I myself am a fan, and am rooting for her continued success. On July 16, 2016, Cardi released her first single under a major record label titled “Bodak Yellow”. This single took her to the top of the charts, and she became the second female artist in history to reach number 1 on the Billboard top 100, without any features. Additionally, she was featured on a couple of other hit singles and released another single titled Bartier Cardi.
On top of that, she began dating her current boyfriend Offset from the Migos. After months of dating, Offset proposed to Cardi at the powerhouse 99 in philly. Cardi accepted the proposal and the couple seemed to be moving in a great direction in their relationship. Unfortunately, in December their relationship was caught in the middle of a scandal. Someone hacked into Offset's icloud account and released a video of a naked women in a hotel room with Offset. Of course the news spread like wildfire and everyone wanted to know would Cardi leave the relationship. Eventually we got the answer. Cardi B stated on her instagram, in a reply to a commenter, "Well if people are talking about it and keep asking me how I feel about the situation why not let them know? Right or wrong? No it's not right for a nikka to cheat...But what you want me to do? Go f--- me another nikka? Start all over again and get cheated on again? This shit happens to everyone. People handle they relationship different soo."
After this revelation, friends asked me if Cardi, by my definition, was dickmatized. First, let's go over the criteria. The elements of dickmatization include time, behavior, and reciprocation.
As stated previously, time is a key factor in determining whether someone is dickmatized. The shorter the amount of time you have been dealing with someone, the more likely you are dickmatized. Cardi and Offset have only been dating for 11 months. They got engaged after 8 months of dating. I know people believe love doesn't have constraints or time frames, but after 1-2 years of dating the honeymoon phase wears off and you begin to really meet your spouse. When you first starting dating someone, you are not meeting the true person, you're meeting their representative. Almost every relationship I've had, when I ask about why their previous relationship didn't work out, they blame it on the other person. They aren't going to tell you they cheated through the entire relationship, abused the person, or that they lose interest fast. They're not gonna tell you that they are extremely insecure, need access to all your social media accounts and the password to your phone to believe you're not cheating on them. They are going to offer you the best version of themselves to encourage you to like them. This mask doesn't come off until after about a year when you start to get comfortable with the person. Cardi and Offset haven't gotten past the honeymoon stage. If you are willing to accept cheating, or any other deal breaking behavior in your relationship, and you haven't been dating over a year, you may be dickmatized.
The next element is behavior. I can't go into too much detail because we only see what they allow us to see. We only see videos of them being happy, when they are on Instagram or Facebook live. We don't know their behaviors behind close doors. The type of behavior that shows a person is whipped, usually consist of a drug addict. They need their spouse at all cost and are willing to do anything to keep the relationship. Cardi's response to the cheating, stating "No it's not right for a nikka to cheat...But what you want me to do?" illustrates that in some depth of her mind this may be acceptable. It's like she's saying, I might as well except him cheating on me, because the next guy will too. It's actually disheartening if she thinks there are no faithful men in the world. In my opinion, Cardi's behavior doesn't shows she's dickmatized. I don't think that her behavior shows that she is making excusing for sticking by his side. She's admitting the cheating is wrong, however she is accepting it. This attitude actually shows that she may be a little insecure in herself to believe that she cant attract a man that won't cheat on her. This is something that would have been affecting her before her relationship with Offset. On another note: If Offset was cheating on Cardi in September, then proposed to her in October, it makes me wonder was the engagement a sentiment to get back in Cardi good graces? Was he trying to tell her it would never happen again? If so, that's foolish. Marriage doesn't stop a person from cheating.
The final element is reciprocation. A relationship should be blanketed with love, affection, attention, and intimacy that is reciprocated. As the saying goes, love is a two way street. Are you getting back from your spouse what you're dishing out? Again, we can't be too sure with celebrities because for the most part we only see what they show us. From what we see on their social media accounts, they show each other the same type of love, attention, and affection. However, offset didn't reciprocate being faithful. He decided to step out on the relationship. This behavior shows a lack of respect in the relationship. By this standard, Cardi can be considered dickmatized.
Based on this summation, Cardi can be considered a little dickmatized. However, Cardi may also be a little infatuated, and a little uncomfortable under the new limelight. Remember, dickmatized can be defined as a person being obsessed with dick. This obsession causes a person to do things that they wouldn't usually do. They become irrational and although everyone else can see that they are whipped, they can not. In my opinion, Cardi does not fit all these standards. As I stated before, I think Cardi may actually believe that all men are cheaters. If she believes that, then the reason she decided to stay has nothing to do with Offsets dick. It's attributed to her belief that any man she dates will cheat. Furthermore, She may see her relationship and engagement as part of her accomplishments. And losing this accomplishment, would signal loss in her career and fame.
I'm not mad that Cardi decided to stay in her relationship. It's her life to live and her decision to make. Maybe Offset learned his lesson, maybe they made a conscience decision to try one more time. I have stayed in 2 relationships, where I was cheated on. One relationship, I was dickmatized and one where I prayed it would work for the sake of my son. I decided to stay and it was solely my choice when i decided to leave. Cardi shouldn't be pressured to make a decision based on her fans. I just think fans were a little disappointed that Cardi didn't dump Offset because they wanted her to be true her "Bodak Yellow" lyrics: "And im quick to cut a n**** off so don't get comfortable."
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