Kenneka Jenkins

In early October, social media was set on fire by the events that led to the death of Kenneka Jenkins. I won't go in to extreme details about the case, because the majority of this post is going to talk about prevention, however I will give some of the details. Jenkins was attending a party at the Crowne Plaza hotel with her friends. She drove her mother's car, with 3 friends as passengers. Allegedly, after the party was done, the 4 friends went in to the hall to get the elevator. However, once in the hallway Jenkins realizes she left her phone and other items in the room. All three friends went back in the room to search for her items, and left her in the hallway. Once they gathered her items, they returned to the elevator and noticed Jenkins was gone. About an hour after Jenkin's disappearance, her friends take her mothers car, drives it to her mother's house to alert her that her daughter is missing. Her mother calls the police station to report her daughter missing, while at the hotel. The police go to the hotel to conduct an investigation, and review cameras. Eventually, a hotel worker finds Jenkins in the freezer. This ambiguous set of an events, inspired social media to watch videos from the party, which were posted by her friends, and develop their own analysis of what had occurred. Many people came up with very logical explanations of possibilities. Although, local authorities ruled her death an accident.

While many people were trying to solve the case, I was thinking about ways this could have been prevented. What advice can we give to this generation of adolescents and young adults about ensuring the safety of their friends when going out to parties?

In my youth, we could not come home if everyone was not accounted for. My family and my friends' family taught us to stick together and make sure we all returned home together. We were taught to always hold our drinks and do not set them down, to prevent anyone from putting any drugs in them. We went to the bathroom together, we went outside to get air together, and we knew where the other person was, at all times. If we were somehow separated, we set a place to meet up.

Aside from what our families taught us, I have a close friend who could be labeled a "cock blocker." When we were younger it use to upset us, but looking back she may have saved us from potentially dangerous situations. There were times where we wanted to go to after parties, with guys that we met at the party, and she would decline the invite for all of us. She would say "we don't know them, so we're going home." She always came off as having an attitude, which would deter the guys from pursing anything further. It may have been annoying, but it CERTIFIED that we all made it home.

After, reading and researching as many details as possible about the Jenkins tragedy, and wondering how it could have happened. I thought about steps that would have prevented this incident from transpiring.

Here are three steps I believe may help prevent a situation like this from occurring:

1. Always use the buddy system
This is the most essential step. If Jenkins and her friends would have used this system, she would still be alive today. Especially, since she was allegedly left in the hallway by herself while her friends looked for her things. I put allegedly because it seems highly suspicious that all 3 of her friends went back inside to look for Jenkins' belongings, while Jenkins stayed in the hallway. Why didn't Jenkins go back in the room to look for her belongings, instead of ALL 3 of her friends. If she seemed too drunk to walk back to the room, why would she be left alone drunk. Based on her appearance on the security footage, she looked very unbalanced. Her friends had to notice that she was severely discombobulated. This makes it extremely unbelievable, that they just left her alone in the hallway, in this state. Anyway, I digress. If they would have used the buddy system, someone would have remained with Jenkins in the hallway, and she would still be alive. Anytime, you are separating from the main event, your buddy comes with you, which includes the bathroom.

2. Leave with who you came with
This goes hand and hand with step one. You leave the event with who you came with. Sometimes, a friend may want to leave with a guy they met at the party, but they shouldn't. Take the guys information, and schedule a meet up another time. This ensures that everyone returns home safely. It was very concerning that Jenkins' friends returned to her mother's house, in her mother's car, with all of her belongings. Jenkins didn't have her phone to call for help, didn't have her keys to go home, probably did not have cash (or her purse) to get a a cab. There is no way that my friend could return to my mother's house with out me, in her car. My friend would have called my mom from the hotel, while searching for me. My friends would have turnt up in that hotel until they found me. They would have went into restricted areas, spoke to the manager, and had the police there within the first hour of my disappearance. Most importantly, we would not have gotten separated.

3. If your friend is drunk, take her home.
Clearly, Jenkins was intoxicated. It didn't just happen when she started stumbling around the hotel. Her friends knew she was very drunk and they should have opted to take her home. If you know your friend is too inebriated, take her home. This also would have prevented Jenkins death. There are plenty of nights, I had to cut my night short because a friend was too drunk. There have also been nights where I had my boyfriend come pick my friend up and take them home for me, if I absolutely could not leave an event.


Bonus Step - Gather information
I have to add this step, because honestly there will be times when step 2 will fail. If your friend insist on leaving with a guy or separating from the group, gather crucial information. Ensure that you get the name of the person she leaves with or is going to see, get the make and model of the car, license plates, and the address of where she is going. There are times when I am not even with my friend and she will randomly text me an address. I know that means she's at this address, and if I don't hear from her after a certain time, there could be something wrong. We need to learn our friends. You should know your friends mannerisms and characteristics. This helps to keep them safe.

These steps, in my opinion, can help to prevent a situation like this from occurring in another group of friends. It can also help prevent sexual assault and rape. Again, I don't know all the details about the case, only what I have researched. The friends could have lied about how Jenkins separated from the group. She may have been drugged, and there could be other details that the friends did not share. Hopefully, the truth will come to light. My condolences goes out to the Jenkins family.

If you have any other steps that you believe should be included, leave them in the comments below. If you would like to give me ideas of other topics to touch on, email me at PreciousTruthz@gmail.com.

Do What You Love!

I have continuously learned that you have to do what you love to be happy. I have made great strides to complete my education, to work hard to be successful, and I still feel unfulfilled. When I completed my bachelor's degree, I thought I would be happy but I still felt incomplete. Especially, since after graduation I hit rock bottom. I didn't have a career that I believed would be thrown to me, I didn't even have a job. Prior to graduating, I was working a paid internship at  MTA - NYC Transit. However, once I graduated I could no longer continue the internship. After graduation, I was confused and frustrated. I had finally completed my education and I was unemployed. I was applying to hundreds of entry level jobs, and somehow I did not qualify. The entry level jobs, either wanted more experience or more education. There were days that I felt depressed. I found my self asking, "How could I have done everything right, and I am still struggling?" There I was, with a bachelor's degree, living in the projects, without a job, surviving on unemployment and public assistance. It was a harsh reality, to work really hard and have nothing to show for it. I continued to apply to jobs, but I was unsuccessful. Eventually, I went to a job center that helped me to obtain a job, I was over qualified and underpaid for, but at that time I couldn't be choosy. I worked there for 6 months, until I found a better job. In that time I decided to go back to school, again. I felt like, if i obtained a Master's degree, it would help me to open doors in the future. I would be able to qualify for the entry level jobs, that claimed you need a master's degree to be eligible. Furthermore, I know people who would have been selected for promotions if they would have had a graduate degree. I never wanted to be in a predicted where not having an education hindered my upward mobility. Although, there are plenty of people who become millionaires without higher education, I have always been a person who wanted to be prepared.

Recently, May 31, 2017, I graduated with a Master's degree. Additionally, I was promoted to Supervisor at my job on March 6, 2017. I received a great raise, great benefits, and for years I have been able to support myself without public assistance (the greatest gift of all). As you can see, a lot has happened this year and the past few years. Even after all of this I still feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. And I have finally figured out, it's because I am not doing what I love. I LOVE writing, I love being able to share my story, my past, and my failures to teach other people. I had consumed myself with society's version of success and forgot to do what I love. I like my job, I am grateful for the opportunity to move up in the company, which I will continue to strive to do, but I will certainly do what I love, which is writing. Often, I find my self daydreaming of alternative realities that I should be writing about. Great ideas form in my head that I write down, but have yet to complete.

 I know that many people, like myself, have to work to be able to support themselves and their families. Doing what you love, may not pay the bills at this time. However, if you develop your craft, and do your own thing, it may. You must first try it or you may find yourself like me. A person who did everything the way you was taught to do it, and have this great sense that there is something else you should be doing. I should have been writing on this blog as often as I could. I should have finished the book I have been working on for years, I should be preforming poetry at open mic events, I should be submitting my writings to magazine entries. All of these things, are things that make me happy and moving forward, I will be placing these things in my schedule. Especially, this blog. It will be updated every Sunday.

Welcome back, Precious Truthz!!!

Hypothetical Facebook Questions

I think I'm obsessed with hypothetical facebook questions. I'm intrigued by some of the perceptions and opinions that I read.  It's very interesting. 

One of the questions that popped up on my Facebook timeline is "Ladies your 6 months pregnant (to late for an abortion) & you find out that your husband has another woman pregnant who is 5 months, what do u do?"

There were many different responses from the participants. They range from kill him,kill her, burn his things, and other illegal options. I tried to think what would I do?

I don't think I could remain married to a man who not only cheated but had a baby as well. Aside from violating our vows, you put me at risks for STDs and HIV because you had sex unprotected. Which means you wasn't even thinking about my health and livelihood. You could have given your spouse Aids and your baby could have contracted it. How can you stay with someone who doesn't think about at least protecting you from contracting sexual diseases. Secondly, you have to think about will you ever trust him again. Will you trust him not to cheat when he goes to spend time with his child at her house? Now, he's bound to her for life as well. She may be the type of person to like drama and has a vendetta against you because he claimed he would leave you. Since you're married, when she puts him on child support, by law it becomes your responsibility too. I can not stay with someone who violated our vows, then put my life and livelihood at risk. 

What would you do?