BLACK PEOPLE ARE A SELF HATING PEOPLE! This includes Latinx. Many Latinos love to believe that they are not black, but we have the same African roots. The difference is some of us were taken by the british and some were taken by the spaniards. However, I am digressing already. Black people illustrate the hate they have, when they pick a part their black counterparts. Black people will see success of other blacks and point out something wrong with in it. For Example, Gabrielle Douglas. First black female to win the all around individual gold medal. We should be proud and yet what did people do? Criticize her hair. Let's not talk about why hair is such a BIG deal to black people. Matter fact, let's go there.
When I first went natural, there were people who asked "how long would I be going through this phase?", or saying remarks like "I could not do that natural hair stuff. People were against the natural hair movement, citing things like it looks unkempt or it can't be worn professionally. This showed society's views of black features. How can something that grows from a persons head, be considered unprofessional?
Now that the natural hair movement has become a trend, millions of black women are transitioning to natural hair and companies are merchandising it. Years ago, natural haired black women had to make their own hair care products because the hair supply stores did not have great products for our hair. Once companies noticed they were losing money by not providing products that addressed the needs of the natural hair community, they started creating the products and began using our terminology. On every product you see phrases like, control your edges, manage your coils, maintain your curl pattern. Before big companies saw dollars signs on our head, they didn't give a damn about products for our hair. It's a shame that in 2017, we are just getting products that are healthy for our hair.
This type of behavior is nothing new to the black community. Our features, for centuries, have been made out to be ugly and/ or unattractive. Sadly, til this day those views are still indoctrinated in our culture and internalized in our beliefs. Unfortunately, one of the main reasons we have began to change some of those beliefs is because European beauty standards have changed, and white people have begun to love of features. And you know... when they like something of ours, they appropriate it and call it their own.
It's ironic that non-black people go to tanning salons to make them selves darker, get Botox to make their lips bigger, and buy breast and butts to imitate our natural bodies. Everywhere you look you see black features being accentuated. It's disheartening that our features are only glorified after it's been a trend. Again, going back to black hair. Everyone wanted to wear CORNROLLS, after Kim Kardashian wore them and renamed them boxer braids. There were many people that didn't understand the outrage of the black community. When our culture is appropriated it hurts. Simply put: it's like turning a paper in to your teacher and getting an F for it. Then your white classmate turns in the exact same paper and gets an A. It's very upsetting. Before I learned that I have been fed lies about what should be considered beautiful, I was uncomfortable in my own skin..
In my childhood, I did not like the way I looked. I battled my self-loathing daily. My Father always taught me that Black was beautiful, and knowledge was power. Everyday, he would reiterate to me powerful statements about black people. However, once I went to school, watched TV, or listened to music, I received different messages. When I was in school, the dark skin girls did not get the same attention as the light skin girls. Even in elementary school, little boys knew that they were suppose to like light skin girls. They knew that when they grew up they wanted to marry and have kids with light skin blacks, Latinos, or whites. This would ensure their children would be born with good hair and fit into society's beauty standards. Consistently, it was illustrated to me that I was not in the defined standards of beauty. My hair was not good hair, my skin was too dark, and my lips were too big. Often, I would ask my father to shave the hair in my "kitchen", which is the hair in your nape. I didn't want to be teased for having "peas in my kitchen." I wanted my hair straighten, because I wanted to have good hair. And I wished I was light skinned because they received all the attention and were told they were pretty.
As I got older, the feelings I had only grew. I remember hanging out with my cousins on weekends and I being the darkest one.
Early in our teens, we would go to the key or to scream (Adolescent parties). We were at the age where we are beginning to like boys and wanted attention from them. After the party was over, boys would ask for the girls house numbers and ask to get to know them. All of my cousins would get asked for their number, except me. If I did, it would be because I was the only option left. It was a terrible feeling. I would wait on the sidelines, until they were finish talking with the boys who like them. I just knew that if I had been blessed with light skin I would get more attention and be considered pretty.
Additionally, during this age group we loved 106 and park. It allowed us to watch videos to our favorite songs. However, most of the videos featured a light skin girl as the main video model. Light skinned girls were the epitome of beauty in the eyes of society. Most songs talked about liking red-bone girls with long hair, or exotic women from places other than Africa. Even Caribbean women were looked at more favorably than Black American woman.
In high school, I remember a guy telling someone he doesn't date black girls because their hair doesn't move. The girl who was Latina, laughed at his audacity. The most biggest irony, is that he was black. His mother embodied all of the beauty standards that he claimed he didn't like. We have to question, how is this possible? How can we hate our physical features and still claim to love our families? For many people the lessons of color bias begin at home. Below is a few reasons that can attribute to the reason why:
Mis-education of god
Since Slavery, black people have been taught through Christianity (and other religions) that Jesus is white. They were taught to worship a man who looked nothing like them, who had blonde hair and blue eyes. It's been stated in articles that this depiction came about in the 15th century when an artist was hired by Pope Alexander, to paint images of biblical people as white. According to the website quora, the image of Jesus is actually a picture of the Pope's son Cesare Borgia. However, prior to multiple facades that depict Jesus as white, biblical people were known to be black. The bible discusses where Jesus was from and what he looked like, and through the illustration describe in the bible, it's impossible for Jesus to be white. Additionally, there are statues and monuments around the world that have gods with black features. Unfortunately, being taught that god doesn't look like you can encourage a person to hate themselves.
Media
The media plays one of the biggest roles in this scheme. For years, black women had the least appealing roles in shows and movies. They played secondary characters that had the same ghetto attitudes. Consequently, the black women who were able to obtain lead roles were mostly light skinned. In commercials, it was always white people or lighter skinned blacks that represented the standard Beauty. There has always been a promotion of European standards as the superior beauty in movies, shows, and commercials. When black children constantly see images that don't reflect their features being shown as beautiful, they start to believe they aren't beautiful. Some grow up, and pay to have their skinned lighten and their features changed, to fit in to the medias selected standard of beauty.
Stockholm syndrome
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological perception in which slaves express extreme sympathy and positive feelings toward their enslavers, to the point of defending and identifying with them, rather than their fellow hostages. During slavery, the house slaves were treated significantly better that the field slaves. Thus the house slaves were more inclined to love their masters and protect them. This same behavior can be witnessed in this modern day and age. The easiest example is entertainers.Whether it's an athlete or musician, you can find multiple black people who no longer identify with the trials of Black Americans. Being millionaires afford them the opportunity to be treated better than the average black american. This treatment causes them to believe that discrimination amongst Black people are not existent.A great example is Colin Kaepernick. There are many athletes who were against Colin Kaepernick's protest and didn't understand how he could identify with police brutality and injustice against the Black community. It wasn't until Trump shared his disgust with NFL owners, that other players and owners began to kneel as well.
Protection
Black people understand that it is pertinent to teach our kids rules that will protect them. Some of these rules include not talking back to the police, not making any sudden movements, and placing hands where they are visible. Although, we shouldn't have to take these drastic measures, we teach our kids because we want them to come home safely. When black people are hurt by police, we look for reasons to blame the victim. In the fatal shooting of Philando Castillo, subconsciousy we questioned, "Why did he reach for his wallet?" Why was he carrying a weapon? Even though it was his constitutional right, in an open carry state. We have been brainwashed to blame ourselves when we haven't done anything wrong, as a means of protection.
Colorism
Colorism can be defined as the prejudicial or preferential treatment of people of the same race based on their complexion or color. We are well aware that this practice stemmed from racism. Lighter skinned people have been given more privilege than darker skinned people. We have become so accustom to this reality that we participate in it. We compliment darkskin girls by telling them "you're pretty for a darkskin girl." As if dark skin girls are not expected to be pretty. We have some people who refuse to date dark skin people, in order to ensure their children aren't born with dark skin. We judge and discrimate against ourselves based on complexion.
It wasn't until my late teens and early twenties that I became self aware of my beauty and acknowledged the contributing factors, discussed above, that led to my self loathing. I finally realized that I had allowed other people to dictate how I felt about myself. I always knew that I saw beauty when I looked in the mirror, but I was discouraged because I thought no one else could see it. I also realized that some people will always follow the status quo and they only see my beauty through the eyes of society. Now that natural hair is popular, I get so many compliments on my hair. I had people who discouraged me from going natural, now asking me for advice to transition to natural hair. Those are the people who see me through the eyes of society. The ones who will give you compliments when your features are trending. Once Kylie Jenner got Botox, everyone wanted fuller lips. They even created devices that cut the circulation to your lips, to temporarily make them plump. Some of those people were the same ones who was teasing people about their big lips.
For centuries, its been indoctrinated in black people that we are less than we are. The biggest problem of all is that it is partially our fault. We have accepted and conformed to society's standard of beauty. Most of us are aware of the lies we have been fed through out history, but we still choose to indulge in it. We make fun of people who don't fit into those european standards of beauty. We tease people about their black features, and then get mad at them for changing it. For example, Lil kim clearly hated her black features. She changed her nose, has lighter skin and smaller lips. Kim didn't change her image for no reason. She did that because she's learned that her features were unattractive.Unfortunately black people solidify those beliefs. Plenty of times, I wished that I could change my physical appearance. I am grateful that I learned to love myself.
Furthermore, we have black people that hate themselves so much that they refuse to date in their own race. I have nothing against interracial couples. However, I am against black man who will tell you the only reason they date white women, is because they don't like black woman. These black men refuse to date black women, for reasons that have been taught to them. They have been taught that black women are loud and ghetto. They have been taught that black women are unattractive. That we have an "angry black women complex" and we are too independent. Ironically, they turn around and date women of other ethnicities who have the same qualities and name it something else. If a black man dates a white women who has an "attitude, they call it spunky. A Latino women with an attitude is Feisty. But, Black women don't get a cute little names. They're just called angry. We have to mitigate ALL of these false beliefs.
The way to ending this cycle of hatred, is to teach your children to love them selves. Teach them that what the media shows on television is not the epitome of beauty. Every morning I have my son say a morning manta: I am Black, I am Smart, I am handsome, and no one can stop me from being focused. I am trying to indoctrinate in him, all the things I second guessed about myself. Black people across the diaspora need to realize that we are beautiful, in all of our complexions. We need to reject what has been taught to us. Most of all, we need to realize that so many people want to be us. That's why they mimic our style, appropriate our culture, discriminate against us, kill us and encourage us to kill our selves. Its' because We are Beauty, We are Strength, We are Perseverance.
Thank your for reading. Comment your thoughts. As always you can email me at PreciousTruthz@gmail.com if you would like to contact me.
