Why is it that if a man has sex with 2 women its called a threesome, but if a woman has sex with 2 men its called a train? Could it be because society has lead us to believe that there is something wrong with women who are comfortable with their sexuality? Or maybe because most of society believes that women who do the same thing as men “aren’t respecting themselves?” The answer is all of the above. No matter how much times have changed since the 19th century, it just isn’t sociably acceptable for a women to have sex with multiple men or even date multiple men at once.
Let me start off by saying that I don’t indulge in sex with multiple people but I do not judge women who do. I believe the reaction to one situation should be the same for both sex. If a women having sex with multiple guys is nasty, then a man having sex with multiple women should be just as nasty. It is unequal for a man to be able to do a whatever they want sexually because society deems it as the norm. When asked, many people will respond with "that's just how it is." If I could sucker punch someone for every time I have heard “that’s just how it is“, I would be the creator of sock’em bopper toys (Random: remember that toy?!). Even IF a guy is called a hoe for his sexual conduct, it still doesn't carry the same stigma. A man would be looked at as normal, or a player, if he claimed to have had sex with every girl in the neighborhood.
Double standards are another form of discrimination. Why should a women get degraded for something that a man will be commended for?
Besides, there were many things in the past that women were told we shouldn’t do, like go to school, work, or vote, because that was for the man to do. Many will say I am going to the extreme giving that example but challenge yourself to think about it. Before “The Women’s Right to Suffrage Movement” women were not allowed to vote. Men used excuses like “ it did not seem fitting that women should come down into the arena of politics and engage generally in public affairs. That women had their own honorable position in life, that that position had been accorded to them by nature, and that their proper sphere was the home” (Clare, 2010). That’s the same excuse they are using in this day and age for females who enjoy having sex just as much as males. They say “women aren’t fit to indulge in sexual acts like men. Its just not right for women to conduct themselves in such a fashion.”
A lot of society still believe that women are unequal and should be house wives. We still use quotes that express this today. For example, the quote “cant turn a hoe into a house wife,” is an insinuation that a women’s goal should be to become a HOUSE wife. Why cant the quote be “Cant turn a hoe in to a companion, spouse, or simply a wife?” And we never focus on men. The quote will never be “cant turn a hoe into a husband.” There should be quotes to encourage men to be better indiviuals, who have the potential to be husbands. Society as a whole are reluctant accepters of change.
Many women want to be more sexually active but are afraid to because they don’t want to be labeled or regarded in a disrespectful manner. Many women are uncomfortable with themselves for even feeling like they have a yearning for sex often. Even I felt compelled to share, earlier in this post, that I don’t indulge in promiscuous sex, because I know that people are going to judge me for even expressing my thoughts on this controversial topic.
Lets be very clear! I AM NOT telling women that they should go sleep with every man and start a “Right to Women Sexing Movement”, I’m saying that you should not judge women who decide they want to have sexual relations with who they want, whenever they want, because they have the RIGHT to, WITHOUT being judged.
Please leave your thoughts below, I would love to hear them. BUT before you comment and say because “that’s how momma raised me,” really think about what I am trying to say and give your OWN personal opinion. Think outside the box, challenge the social norms, be an INDIVIDUAL. Let me put it in to today terms, "Be a BOSS of your own thoughts."
I read your blog and poetry. you hit the nail in a head. I share your thoughts. If it is consensual between adults, who is to label anyone. And why is that when men do it, it is viewed as a "what a guy" and women considered as "loose and hoes" ? It's still male dominant society, with strong church influence (women are just to lay down in missionary) and a wrong view that men are always the leading side in sexual act. But it also varies from one society to another and is viewed differently in different social levels. And in other hand, there are still tribes in South America, disconnected from outside world where women are dominant and have several men at their "disposal".
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your opinion.
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